Missed something on the show today? Here are some of the best bits from the show...all in one place!

A Red Hot Chili Pecker

A husband who is dead in the bed.

Nard bought a snowplow when he moved to San Antonio.

What’s Happening:

#5 Former CBWDC kitchen worker arrested after allegedly having inappropriate relationship with inmate

I have the ugliest aunt probably out of anybody in the world...she would go to a prison and feel like she’s the hottest girls on the planet - Derek

#4 Landlord pressured tenants for sex acts, evicted those who refused, feds say. Now he owes

Nuthin’s affordable in this world - Nard

#3 Red Hot Chilli Pepper’s frontman lost virginity to father’s girlfriend aged 12

Such a great dad. - Chris

#2 Sleeping in bed with your dog ‘improves health’ – but only if you are clean

Nope! <think again, Derek> - Billy

#1 Man proposes with huge tattoo on his thigh - popping question with jeans around his ankles

Aww...how sweet - Derek

Big Ass World News:

#5 Woman ‘humiliated’ as crew threaten to kick her off flight for ‘not wearing bra’

My Body, My Choice - Billy

#4 Mum shares bed with husband’s corpse for 4 years and tells kids to ‘keep mouths shut’

I’d rather go to the orphanage - Chris

#3 One in 10 Brits have burnt ex-partner’s belongings after a break-up, study finds

I think girls do it more. - Billy

#2 Man almost licked to death by his pet Chihuahua

That’s so worth it, it so CUTE! - Bills (as Derek)

#1 The shocking number of Americans who don’t know their partners salary revealed

Yeah...DON’T FORGET IT, B*tch! - Derek

Top 5 Buttheads:

#5 Dog shot multiple times after suspect “plotted revenge”

Oh no sir! Let’s kill him! - Derek

#4 Police seek plow driver who allegedly exposed himself, made lewd remark

When Nard moved to Texas, he bought a snow plow - Billy

#3 Murder suspect claims he stabbed his girlfriend to death in self-defense after fight over chopping onions

Like a spider monkey with a knife. - Billy

#2 Shameless couple romp in middle of shopping center in front of horrified shoppers

That was a POV video, right? - Billy

#1 Evil crocodile expert who raped and killed dogs in his ‘torture room’ shipping container has his sentencing delayed and will remain behind bars

He was a crocodile expert that humped dogs - Billy

Bonus: Dog gets stuck inside classic muscle car’s engine while chasing cat

What a dumbass - Nard