Missed something on the show today? Here are some of the best bits from the show...all in one place!

A refreshing donkey remedy

Weird mother daughter bonding.

Nard’s “D-pellant”

What’s Happening:

#5 ‘My boyfriend keeps talking about our sex life at work – It once got him sacked’

(Nard) is being a nasty little whore. - Derek

#4 Winslow man accused of making poisonous biological weapon

You put an Air Tag in your magic beans in Oklahoma? - Billy

#3 Man charged in second deadly shooting because of notebook confession

What an idiot! - Derek

#2 Cooped up’ tiny dog poops on United Airlines flight as fellow travelers scramble to figure out the culprit: ‘Accidents happen’

They played ‘Who Pooped?’ on an airplane - Billy

#1 Alleged drunken man struts completely naked in Florida airport, tries to breach through security

He tried to breach security with his wiener out - Billy

Bonus: Sick donkey saved by drinking 24 liters of cola as vets come up with odd cure

24 liters of Coke saved the donkey’s life! - Billy

Big Ass World News:

#5 Doctor ‘pulled baby’s head off during birth’ and hospital accused of ‘cover up’

Girl doctor...U.S....doesn’t happen - Derek

#4 Mother-daughter duo Sunnie and Eva from TLC’s‘ sMothered’ defend giving each other vajacials: ‘Just so normal!’

I would LOVE to (wax my dad’s wiener) - Derek

#3 France’s reputation as a nation of lovers in disrepute as research suggests one in four adults in the country have had no sexual encounters in the past year

They’re just not doing it...they’re not humping. - Billy

#2 Model asked to leave plane after ‘strange vibrating noise’ comes from suitcase

You gotta take your battery operated boyfriend off the plane. - Billy

#1 Dads are watching football with their young daughters — thanks to Taylor Swift

A “$19.89′ Pizza Special! - Billy

Top 5 Buttheads:

#5 Female teacher slept with student, 14, and snuck into bedroom for illicit romps for a year

She was leaving her DNA all over the house - Billy

#4 Man lures 25-year-old to a cookout, then kills him with shovel, Alabama officials say

I wonder if he fed him first. - Chris

#3 ‘Wicked’ woman gets savage revenge on annoying passenger by destroying her hair

Looked like a wig...but let’s just say it’s real - Billy (Click story link to see for yourself).

#2 Arizona grandpa dead after firefighters dropped him, family claims: ‘Feels like a nightmare’

At least they tried - Derek

#1 Female prison office ‘had sex with inmate’ in filthy jail where lags ‘throw poo’

That would be my “D-pellant” - Nard